“Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win is based on the paradigm that there is plenty for everybody – that one person’s success is not achieved at the expense of others.” – Stephen Covey
We have 100,000,000,000 neurons in our brains and each can connect to 10,000 of its neighbors. This is how we can have win-win. Recognizing that there are so many answers to the decisions and challenges of the world. Seeking first to understand the feelings, ideas, and solutions of our family, friends, and colleagues is the best way to start a win-win. Helping children to recognize that their way plus your way may be the best way. But it takes time and energy to stop an listen. I encourage us to find the time to create win-win experiences for our children.
Mother’s Day was a great example of thinking win-win. If our families appreciate our mom’s often enough and express it with kindness and carefree timelessness, our mom’s are better mom’s. In the long run, when someone else wins, other’s do too. Thinking win-win is the only good alternative to healthy relationships.
- Heart – Speak to one another at the same eye level with a cheerful countenance – even when it’s hard.
- Mind – Solve an equation together so that each person’s smarts can become the others’.
- Body – Exercising together is a great encourager.
- Soul – Talk about personal dreams and how your family can help each person’s come true. As we look into the summer fun time this might be a very important conversation.
As you attempt to win your Daily Private Victory (AKA, sharpening your saw; heart, mind, body, & soul), you’ll encounter obstacles. These difficult, pivotal moments include such things as:
- Getting up on time (“mind over mattress”)
- Controlling your temper and not saying the unkind thing
- Disciplining yourself to eat healthy foods
- Sticking to your reading regimen when you are busy
When you discipline yourself to make it through these decisive moments, you will reap great rewards.
Ways to Practice
Heart – Spend some carefree timelessness with family and friends.
Mind – Tell your brain what you want to do. Skip the “try” word. Use “will”!
Body – Say yes to a good walk, meal, and night sleep.
Soul – Enter the classroom of silence and have a nice chat with yourself.
What we feed grows and becomes something powerful. Putting our values and priorities first in our lives lets us live the life we wish for. I have been told that when I feel too busy that I am probably busy on things I shouldn’t be busy with. When we are focused on priorities in our heart, mind, body, and soul we tend to feel very satisfied with how we are spending our time and experience greater joy in life. Balancing life really means that we stop juggling our life. People who are good at saying no to quadrants three and four do a great job filling their time in quadrant two and are able to handle quadrant one episodes.
In last week’s habit, we talked about beginning with the end in mind. When we plan our week to the best of our knowledge, we tend to be at peace when saying no to opportunities that interrupt our plans. This is exactly what the word discipline means: to learn and habituate behaviors. Using a planning tool clarifies and maps how we want to spend our time. It gives us a pathway that leads to a healthier lifestyle: heart, mind, body, and soul.
Take time this week to review each area of your child’s life–heart, mind, body, and soul–and ask if there is enough time and effort placed on the things throughout the week.
Heart – relationships
Mind – academic success
Body – sleep, diet, & exercise/play
Soul – music & spiritual/personal development
Key Concepts from the “Leader in Me” Curriculum
Focus on your highest Priorities (Quadrant 2)Eliminate the unimportant (Quadrant 3 & 4)Plan your week.Stay true to your big rocks.
Inventiveness is born in an environment that allows a mind to explore, experiment, dabble, play, risk, and fail. Playdough, legos, or lincoln logs aren’t just toys to pass the time. They provide a tool for the imagination and the development of essential critical thinking and reasoning skills for our future inventors, entrepreneurs, and engineers. Studying every subject in the curriculum encourages inventive thinking when the subject is treated with wonder and awe.
It is our role as parents and educators to present it that way. According to Tony Wagner, in his book Creating Innovators, there are three super “p’s” that are ingredients to creating our next generation of great American innovators – Play, Passion, and Purpose. When we allow our children to; use playful imagination, discover their personal passion, and provide purpose in creative endeavors – we fertilize the next generation of innovators. Innovation can be found within each of our heart, mind, body, or soul passions. Whether we are writing a poem, calculating in a spreadsheet, experimenting with a 3d printer, or beating on a drum, innovative thinking produces the wonders and awes of life. Let’s reinvigorate our enthusiasm this week by saying “yes” to the inventive ideas of our children and never robbing them from eureka moments! Allow eureka to spark within the minds of our children!
“It does seem to produce more creative results when there are limitations. It’s like in wartime with rations – people became more inventive with cooking.” – Laura Fraser
“Imagination is the highest kite one can fly.” – Lauren Bacall
“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” – Mark Twain
Our school logo is one of the best ways to illustrate the habit of synergy. When we balance our lives in all four ways (heart, mind, body, and soul) we become a better version of ourselves. When we neglect any one of these elements, we’re not running on all four tires. Life becomes more challenging and the disruption causes strife in the other three areas.
Synergizing our lives is a constant challenge and requires constant reflection. If a student only focuses time and energy on one element of the whole, the rest are diminished. When each is given its due time and energy, the rest flourish as well. Each makes the other stronger. Heart, plus mind, plus body, plus soul makes us healthy and whole. I can’t say that I have ever had all four completely balanced in my life, but I know that when I am conscious of each and don’t neglect them I am happier, more satisfied, and more successful. The reason why our logo colors are swished is to point out that we should stay in motion with each of these areas of our life. When they each get our attention we experience synergy.
Ask your child the following questions and then ask if there is one element/color that they would like to stretch this week.
- Heart – How are you getting along and caring for family, friends, pets, and a garden?
- Mind – How proactive are you in achieving academic success?
- Body – How are your eating, exercising, and sleeping habits?
- Soul – How much time do you spend seeking peace with music, prayer, meditation, and/or self-reflection?