The Golden Rule – Do unto others as you would want done unto you.
Thinking win-win starts with a belief that people want to do what is right and are willing to work together to achieve what is in the best for the common good. It doesn’t always mean that it’s 50:50 though. Friendship, marriage, and business partnerships require 90:10 or 10:90 at times. Good communication, compromise, and mutual support balance relationships over time and everyone is better off in the end. There is an old story about two horses tethered together trying to eat from their own feeder. Each pulled the other, yanking the other away from the feeder. After a long back and forth struggle, they finally realized that sharing each other’s feeder would save a lot of strife and allow both of them to enjoy a peaceful meal.
Try out the AACA Problem Solving Creativity System:
- Describe the problem. What happened and how did you feel?
- Define the goal. What do you wish would have happened instead?
- List the obstacles. What kept us from achieving the goal?
- Consider new strategies. What could we do differently the next time this happens?
- Evaluate the effectiveness of the strategy. Could or did our strategy work?
One of the best consequences of thinking win-win is that it grows healthy long term relationships because we are willing to support one another – even when we may not be our best selves. On top of that, a stressed “win-lose” brain doesn’t learn well. Our brains have 100,000,000,000 neurons. Our intelligence and imagination have endless potential to nurture win-win solutions. It starts with trust and an ounce of courage and in the end, everyone wins.
- Heart – Use to above Problem Solving Creativity System to discuss a family frustration.
- Mind – Tell your children about a story from literature or history when the victory was a win-win. Read the story How Full is Your Bucket? by Carol McCloud
- Body – Create a dinner that provides a favorite for each member of the family.
- Soul – Split the radio time in the car between each passenger’s favorite genre.
“Strong people don’t put others down…they lift them up.” – Michael Watson
“You don’t have to blow out the other person’s light to let your own shine.” -Bernard M. Baruch
“The law of win-win says, ‘Let’s not do it my way or your way; let’s do it the best way’.” – Gary Anderson